Precious Lord, Take My Hand

by Rev. Thomas A. Dorsey

Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on, let me stand
I am tired, I am weak, I am worn
Through the storm, through the night
Lead me on to the light
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home

When my way grows drear
Precious Lord linger near
When my light is almost gone
Hear my cry, hear my call
Hold my hand lest I fall
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home

When the darkness appears
And the night draws near
And the day is past and gone
At the river I stand
Guide my feet, hold my hand
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home

Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on, let me stand
I'm tired, I'm weak, I'm lone
Through the storm, through the night
Lead me on to the light
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home

Too Many People Grow Up

“Too many people grow up. That's the real trouble with the world, too many people grow up. They forget. They don't remember what it's like to be 12 years old. They patronize, they treat children as inferiors. Well I won't do that.” - Walt Disney

Here is my response to an article written by a friend at her own blog: http://wallflower1332.blogspot.com/2009/08/we-grow-neither-better-nor-worse-as-we.html

I refuse to grow up.

I realized the other day that one of the last things in the world I wanted to do was to grow up. All my life, I've been wanting to grow up, be cool, and couldn't wait until I was Samantha's age from the TV show Wishbone. But I think the mere fact that I still make references to Wishbone shows just how much I don't want to grow up. There was a time, back during my freshman year of high school, when one friend told me "You're like a 30 year old trapped inside the body of a 13 year old". And I thought that was awesome! I was already acting like an adult? How cool was that! But I don't want to grow up anymore.

At this point, I should clarify one thing. Just because I don't want to grow up doesn't mean I don't want to enter the adult world. I do! I want to get a job, start a life, have an apartment, travel and see the world and all those other "adult" things. But while I enter the adult world, I don't want to grow up and become an adult.

Because in my mind, growing up is a horrible idea. I'd have to stop sleeping with my stuffed animals. I'd have to actually stick to a certified organizational system, rather than creating my own "organized mess". I wouldn't be allowed to get into shallow, immature arguments with my friends. I would be told to sell my old Nancy Drew books and other childhood favorites. I would be told to not spend so much money at a bookstore - it wasn't frugal. In short - I would have to work, eat, sleep, have only regulated fun times and enter a world where you are supposed to be mature, responsible and grown up.

And to that world, I say nothing. I simply grab my baby blankets, stomp my feet into place and start pouting. Because I will not grow up. I will continue to do crazy and immature things when I haven't had enough sleep and I'm with my friends. I'll continue to sleep with my stuffed animals. I will keep my living quarters as neat or messy as I want. I will have so many bookshelves, and they will proudly display Nancy Drew and Wishbone, right next to Medieval Political Philosophy. I will buy books and read them, pass them to my friends and cherish them (face it - if you've seen my town's library, there's not nearly enough there to keep my interest). I'll continue to do things to show my friends that I care, even when it might not be considered fiscally responsible. I am going to hold on to my inner child.

So I will enter this new world of jobs, taxes, and politics. But while I'll sit and debate topics of controversy, you can be sure that the child inside of me is reading a Nancy Drew story when she should be asleep.


Epilogue (for Ally):
I really should admit though, that I am extremely excited about several leadership councils I'm involved with this year and the opportunity to make a difference on campus. I'm always thrilled when I discover that I can really cook (and not just bake). And I'm also going to be more dedicated to my studies this year, though it's more out of necessity than anything else. My sinkmate is actually going to drag me to the gym to work out with her. Oh, and be careful with the fish ; )

Adding to the Worship Wars

The Church today is caught up in "Worship Wars". This is nothing new or shocking unless you've lived under a rock for 15 or 20 years. Every since Contemporary praise music started to "come into the scene" in a major way, local churches have started "wars" over the music to be played during the services. The Western church has become divided on the issue, starting new churches, making separate services for the various styles, and trying to find compromises that will keep everyone happy, in the same service and the same building.

Up until a few months ago, I saw this as merely a fact of life. People will disagree about music, so play a couple of hymns, a few modern songs, then get on to the sermon. Such an apathetic view might seem shocking coming from a musician. But my church has almost seamlessly made the transition, especially after it somewhat survived a split over money. So music style was never exactly the first thing on my mind during a service.

Then I went to college. (How many stories start with that?)

During the first semester I took a course called "Music in the Christian Perspective". It was an introductory music course, and during the wide range of discussions, morality of music was discussed. We looked at Plato's view, and some other writings. Just today, in fact, a man from my church was discussing the Reformed view of the arts - the arts are not amoral, but moral. Such an idea crossed my mind until MCP. While I don't recall the final outcome of the course discussion, it did prompt me to look into Christian music a bit further.

One day a friend of mine, S. K. Johnson (http://apostello.wordpress.com/) started up a discussion with me about a paper he was writing called "Religion for Coach Potatoes". In it, he points out how worship music today does not force us to use our intellect. Citing Issac Watts, author of many of the great hymns, he writes that "In Watts’ hymns, knowing about God was necessary to understand the concepts being expressed, and thus to be able to sincerely express them in worship." He goes on to say that "his method has a specific goal in mind; acknowledging who God is with clarity and depth, and developing understanding of these divine truths in the soul so that it raises up in worship. Declaring that “God is great” is only worship, if we truly know why we are saying it. This method of worship, as a sequence of understanding and then response, thought and then emotion is all throughout Scripture. Ezra led Israel in worship by first telling the history of Israel up to that point, and then the Hebrews worshiped God for what He had done. Or, as it says in Romans 12, “in view of God’s mercies...worship” (NIV, emphasis added)." He compares that style of worship with the one that we find in our CCM style today. "The songs that have resulted from the CCM industry use very simple language, are often repetitive, and are aesthetically emotional. These songs rely on eliciting emotional responses in order to give the facade of understanding an abstract concept. A worshiper may declare something ambiguous about God such as, ‘You are worthy,’ without having their mind brought to a point of understanding what that means."

Clearly, we had a few things to discuss. Or rather, he had a few things to say which I listened, nodded my head, and thought about later.

One night after Koin, the idea finally began to make sense inside of my head. Koinonia, or Koin as we call it on campus, is a student lead praise and worship session held on Sunday nights. And it is really great. Spending an hour, lifting up praise with fellow students is one of the things I love, whether it be in Koin or when a friend pulls out a guitar and a praise session starts in a dorm room. But one night I left thinking "what have I just done?" My mind had been in some far off place while I was singing the songs. Some of the songs were even about me, what I could bring to God. How much I loved God. But God doesn't need that or want that. He knows that we can't bring anything, and that however much we say we love Him, we fall incredibly short when we try to live out our faith. And the most important thing that hit me was the fact that I hadn't thought during the service. I didn't need to use my intellect, it was all about the emotional rush. i hadn't learned anything about God. And that fact didn't sit well with me.

I saw why it matters. It matters what we sing, because if we're not engaged, if we're not lifting God up, then what are we doing? We're going through the motions, though we've learned to cover it up more than you might see in an Orthodox church. These "Worship Wars" should not be about what music we like to listen to in church, but what music we should or need to listen to during a service.

One of the best articles I have read on the subject is entitled "Durable Hymns" by Donald T Williams, on Five mark of Excellence That Could End the Worship Wars.

"The "Worship Wars" that rage in the church today are nothing new. St. Ambrose was considered an innovator for writing hymns and teaching his people to sing them. The controversy over melismatic textual elaboration in the Middle Ages was (according to legend) settled by Palestrina's Pope Marcellus Mass. the Reformation started debates over exclusive psalmody and the use of instruments, debates that continue among Protestants to this day, although they are now overshadowed by heated arguments over contemporary praise and worship music versus traditional hymnody."

He puts forth the idea that in order to judge the music of today, we must look at the music of yesterday. The reason the hymns we still have today are considered "great" is because they've endured years of weeding-out. There was bad music when Issac Watts was writing, but those songs have not survived. Williams argues that there are five points of excellence that made the best stand out and survive, and that those are the points by which we should judge contemporary music.

The first is Biblical Truth. The should be a strong emphasis on the words of praise being at least scriptural, if not Scripture itself. The older printed version of hymns would often include the verses that justified the content of the hymn. Can we look at the music we're singing today and find verses that clearly support it? Often times we can, but they are shorter and simple phrases, instead of longer, more complex passages that were once used.

The second in Theological Profundity. We should be using our minds while we worship! Christ even commands us to love and worship God with our minds! One example Williams cites is Charles Wesley's him "And Can It Be That I Should Gain?" Our music today should offer chances for theological reflection.

A third mark of excellence is Poetic Richness. The words chosen should not be so difficult that a layman cannot understand them, but intellectually suggestive and emotionally powerful. An example is the use of the "wretch" in Amazing Grace".

A fourth mark is Musical Beauty. As any music major will tell you, there are rules in music. And those rules simply must be followed, unless you are writing abstract 20th Century music. There are certain tendencies in music that should be used, and others that should be avoided. Melodies and harmonies should be well shaped. And Williams makes one other point - "And where did so many guitarists get the notion that it is somehow cut to avoid ending a song on the tonic chord?". I can understand not ending on the tonic if you are transitioning to another song which resolves the tension, but let's try to land on the tonic a little more often than we do.

The fifth mark is Fitness. There should be a good fit between the well-written words and excellent music. Everything should be appropriate.

Now, I'm sure many will say "Well, Williams is simply the type of old prude who hates all contemporary music and just likes hymns better, and obviously you feel the same way". But that's not the case. We should look for these marks in our music today, and they can be found. There are so many good Christian bands who have rich and powerful music, in a variety of different styles. But rather than just letting anything into our church, we should have discerning taste. This is one of the reasons why I believe it is critical for Christians to have at least some sort of theological background. It is important to be able to discern not only between good and bad, but between good, better and best. Both traditional hymns and contemporary music should have a home in the modern Church.

Times - Tenth Avenue North

I know I need You
I need to love You
I love to see You, but it's been so long
I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

Now You pull me near You
When we're close, I fear You
Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done
Are You done forgiving?
Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become
What have I become?

I hear You say, 
"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real?'
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."

Out of the Silent Planet

This afternoon I finished the 6th book by CS Lewis of the summer (9th book overall). It was the first book in his space trilogy "Out of the Silent Planet".

I will admit, I approached this book with a fair amount of apprehension, and with a suspicion that I wasn't really going to like it. I'm hardly what one would call a fan of science fiction. All the remarks I've heard about the trilogy before could be basically summed up in one statement : you'll either love it or hate it.

I decidedly fall somewhere in between. It is not one of my most favorite works of Lewis - it ranks close to the bottom. I didn't really start to enjoy it until about halfway through the book. When Ransom finally encounters some other...beings, I'll call them...that's when I finally became interested. I don't really like it when an author spends a great deal of time on details, and when you're attempting to describe a different world to a reader, you end up spending about the first half of the work focusing on detail about the surroundings. The character development, intertwined with loosely veiled Biblical allusions towards the end, was what really caught my attention. I have always been amazed at Lewis' talent to seamlessly blend Biblical truths with fiction or mythology, yet not in such a way as to be called blasphemous. If you can make it to the end of the story, I would say that Lewis proves his ability in that area in "Out of the Silent Planet" even better than he did in "The Chronicles of Narnia".

Reverence

Somewhere along the way something got lost.

When I was trying to describe my experience in the Balkans, viewing the various religions of Islam, Catholicism, Orthodoxy and Evangelical-Protestantism, I just couldn't find the right word to set them apart from the Church in America. A lady at my church helped me out. "Was there a feeling of reverence?" she asked.

Reverence.

I think we've gone way too far in the wrong direction. We've latched on to the fact that Jesus was God made man, and that He is Love. God is Love. And we've created for ourselves a "Jesus is my boyfriend" religion. When He clearly is not. Or as my Bib Lit professor put it "The Bible says that God is Love. This DOES NOT mean that God is some giant mystical Care bear in the sky, just waiting around to love everybody!"

Where's the reverence?

Some people will take a look at those previously mentioned religions and say "well, they're just following the traditions they were taught. It doesn't mean anything to them. But MY relationship (because it's not a religion) means something to me!" But what if that's not the case? Sure, there will always be people who go through the motions and don't believe in what they're doing. But there must be some who believe.

Now, I'm not advocating a return to "the old ways", or simply coming up with some strict traditions to follow for the sake of following them. But what if we approached God with the same reverence they approach either the traditions, or God Himself through the traditions? What if we stopped kidding ourselves by saying "when the Bible says to fear God, it actually means to respect" and admit that we serve the One who created the entire universe - just because He could. He gave us free will - just because He could. The only reason we're breathing right now is because He feels like letting us breathe. Does this sound like a giant Care bear to you?

The book of Hosea beautifully illustrates the contrast in God's love for us. He loves us and pursues us as a husband does his wife - even to the point of paying for her ransom when she has sold herself into slavery. It is a tender, yet powerful love. He longs to have her call him "my husband" instead of "my master". Yet He still says that when the Israelites return to Him, they will do so with trembling. Just because God was willing to send His Son to die because of His great love for us, doesn't mean we shouldn't approach Him with fear and reverence.

God's Answer to Dark Valleys

Pastor Gary's Sermon today from his series on Psalm 23

God's Answer to Dark Valleys

Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

The way of spiritual maturity is through trials. Too often we want the results of verse 4, without what verse 2 promises us.

We live in a world dominated by sin. Yet in that world we're being made into the image of Christ. We will face trials that are unique to each one of us, and they happen when we are overcome and defeated by life. These Dark Valleys can be illustrated by the poem "A Psalm From A Hotel Room" by Joseph Bayly.

I’m alone Lord
alone
a thousand miles from home.
There’s no one here who knows my name
except the clerk
and he spelled it wrong
no one to eat dinner with
laugh at my jokes
listen to my gripes
be happy with me about what happened today
and say that’s great.
No one cares.
There’s just this lousy bed
and slush in the street outside
between the buildings.
I feel sorry for myself
and I’ve plenty of reason
to. Maybe I ought to say
I’m on top of it
praise the Lord
things are great
but they’re not.
Tonight
it’s all
gray slush

In the midst of Dark Valleys, remember...

1. Valleys are inevitable
Our Lord even promises that "in this world you will have trouble". Sometimes these valleys pile up upon one another. The prophet Jeremiah mourned that "disaster follows disaster" (4:20). (Katie's personal note: I once heard a speaker say "We've signed up to follow the religion of a guy who ended up having the crowds turn on him and crucify him. We shouldn't be expecting easy")

2. Valleys are unpredictable
Valleys always seem to happen at the wrong time. But think about it this way - is there ever a right time to have a flat tire?

3. Valleys are impartial
No one gets a free pass through life. Whether you are good or bad, Christian or not, bad things will happen. No one is isolated. In Matthew 5 Jesus says that rain falls on both the just and the unjust. They too often we only want the sunny days and not the ones that come with rain. We expect only good times - why else when something happens is our knee-jerk reaction to say "why me?" Do you really think you are exempt from the pain that everyone else has to face? Instead we should be saying "why not me?".

4. Valleys are temporary

1 Peter 1:6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.

David says that he walks through the valley. It is not a permanent thing. One day we will end up in heaven. The pain can be productive if it causes us to give God our attention.

5. Valleys are intentional

1 Peter 1:7 These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

God has a reason behind the trials that we face. Faith isn't built on the mountaintop. The trials drive us to our knees. Even Jesus faced trials. God is just, and in addition to that, He can and will use evil that is done to us to make something good.

In the midst of Dark Valleys, respond by...

1. Refusing to be discouraged

We are to walk through the valley of the shadow of death. It does not say run. To walk through is to calmly make steps. We do not need to be afraid. To be afraid, or to not be afraid, that's a choice that we make. The key to that choice is the companion that walks with you through the valleys of life.

2. Remembering that God is with you

It is at this point in the psalm when the tone switches. Instead of referring to God in the third person, David now speaks of Him using the 2nd person - "you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me". The trials bring us much closer to God than we were before they hit. We need to remember to focus on God's power, not our problem. In Isaiah 43:2 He promises that "When you pass through the water, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." We all remember the story of Peter trying to walk on the water (Matt 14). It's when he starts to focus on something other than Jesus that he becomes afraid and starts to sink.

Colossians 1:11 ..being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience...

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

3. Relying upon God's protection and guidance

The image used in this passage is of a rod and staff of a shepherd. The rod is used to defend us (the sheep), His protection is active and vigilant. The staff is used to give guidance and comfort.

Psalm 34:19 A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all



John 16:33 - I (Jesus) have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

God's answer to Dark Valleys in your life is Him!

More Europe News - Places I've Eaten

Places I've Eaten:

-Crackers at the top of the Eiffel Tower
-Dinner at the base of the Statue of Liberty
-Crepes outside of Notre Dame
-Swiss chocolate in a park outside of a castle in Switzerland
-Picnic lunch on castle grounds in Switzerland
-Belgian waffles in a cafe in Brussels
-Lasagna in Venice
-Pickled Herring in Haarlem, Netherlands
-Sandwich outside of St. Chapele on a bench next to the road
-Multiple meals in train stations
-Breakfast of bread, nutella, and jam on a bed in "Cheap Beds Hotel"
-Lunch as at memorial on D-day across from American soldiers
-Crackers on a train
-Picnic lunch inside the Louvre
-Cookie at the top of the Reichstag
-Frankfurter in Frankfurt!
-Black Forest ice Cream Sundae in Nurnberg
-Hot chocolate in a coffee shop in a Cathedral in Haarlem

The Four Loves

This afternoon I finished my fourth CS Lewis book of the summer. As you can tell from the title of this entry, it was "The Four Loves".

I found this to be a very interesting read, and one that should almost be required. It clears up so many of the misunderstandings that can occur when recognition isn't given to the different types of love and their proper functions. My book is, once again, covered in Post-It notes, and far more than I will take the time to list (it would just be better if you read it for yourself). His discussions range from "Likings and Loves for the Sub-Human", to Affection, Friendship, Eros, Venus and Charity. Lewis takes the time to carefully define what he means by each term, and what he does not mean. He also pushes through many of the popular misconceptions surrounding the types of love (not surprising, the same misconceptions are around even after almost 50 years). And true to form, Lewis draws in examples of the ancients which is something I particularly enjoy. But I think the most important part is his final section on Charity, relating the natural loves to Love Himself. In it, Lewis cautions the reader against taking the Augustinian approach and deciding that the risks of pain are not worth love. "The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell". Lewis also suggests "If I am sure of anything I am sure that His teaching was never meant to confirm my congenital preference for safe investments and limited liabilities. I doubt whether there is anything in me that pleases Him less." In a world where we too easily decide to run away from the pain in our lives, especially the pain of a broken heart, this is advice well-heeded.

While I continue to work through "Miracles", the next book by Lewis I will be starting is "Surprised by Joy".

Suffering

For whatever reason, the issue of suffering has been on my mind a lot lately. Actually, it seems to be a reoccurring topic in my life during this whole summer. I started out the summer reading CS Lewis' work "The Problem of Pain". Since then, I've watched so many of those dear to me go through trials and tribulations. Or I've heard about people that I hardly know experience pain and suffering, and that would still pain me as much. When I would sit back and survey the whole situation, it was staggering (and it still is). And this got me wondering that very typical question - why? Maybe not so much as why God allows it to happen, or why it happens to good people, but why it all seems to happen at once. These people have enough battles to fight - why are there more?

And I'm forced to sit, minutes away or miles away, and simply watch and pray. I wish I was so much closer and that there was more than I could do. Of course, I realize that it's all up to God and I try my best to trust him, my hugs and words of encouragement surely couldn't ruin His grand scheme.

I also begin to take survey of my own life. I've been through all sorts of experiences, some wonderful, some painful. Is this supposed to be the eye of the tornado? Since my life isn't crashing in, am I just waiting for something to happen? Should I be bracing myself for another disaster? If things are so awful for those I know, things cannot stay safe for me very long.

But then the words of CS Lewis came to mind. (And if you read my last post, this quotation will be a repeat)

"The sacrifice of Christ is repeated, or re-echoed, among His followers in very varying degrees, from the cruelest martyrdom down to a self-submission of intention whose outward signs have nothing to distinguish them from the ordinary fruits of temperance and 'sweet reasonableness'."

We cannot judge others, nor ourselves, by the outward signs of suffering. The battles that Christ has given us are all different to the different individual. We are not all called to physical sufferings - for many, the internal tribulations are enough. We cannot wish for anything different.

I have also been reading through Ezra, and a verse particularly struck me out of the narration. After they rebuilt the temple of the Lord, it says that "no one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping, because the people made so much noise. And the sound was heard far away" (Ezra 3:13). That got me thinking. The reason the noise was heard so far away was because there was both shouting and weeping. Both joy and sorrow. Perhaps that is how the body of Christ is to function - the message will get out louder, not when everyone is suffering, or when everyone is prospering, but when there is a balanced mix. And if that is true for the body, than it is true for our own lives.

A Summer with Lewis

This summer I've made it my goal to read through as many of the works of CS Lewis as I can. A rather giant task since I always make myself so busy that I forget to take time to read. Which is rather funny, since it is one of my most favorite activities. Today I finished the third book of the summer, and I must admit, I'm rather disappointed that it's taken me this long to get this far.

The first book that I read was "The Problem of Pain". When I first started, it was my second attempt at reading it. I had tried last summer, right before heading off to college, and I made very little progress. When I started up again, Lewis did have me a little lost at first. That might be because I was tired and sitting on a swing in the sun when reading it. But when I jumped back in a few days later, I completely loved it. It is so interesting to see the full development of theological points that he presents in his Narnia series. So many things make so much more sense by his assertion that we notice pain more acutely because we know the way that things ought to have been. "In a sense, it creates, rather than solves, the problem of pain, for pain would be no problem unless, side by side with our daily experience of this painful world, we had received what we think a good assurance that ultimate reality is righteous and loving". Another section that I truly loved (and could not put down) is his final chapter on heaven. I can't even describe how wonderful it is. If you haven't read his full work, it would be worth it to just read that final chapter.

The next book I read was "The Great Divorce". It was a quick, but very enjoyable read. It was a nice contrast from "The Problem of Pain". This was presented in the form of a dream, that was such an interesting point to view the issues of heaven and hell. As it would be expected from Lewis, it is brilliantly written, and just a phenomenal read overall. I'm not sure if I fully agree with all of his views on heaven and hell, but I don't know enough on the subject to properly judge that.

Today I started and finished "The Abolition of Man". it was originally given as a series of lectures "Reflections on Education with Special Reference to the Teaching of English in the Upper Forms of Schools". Though these lectures were given in 1944, they are very relevant to the issues we face today, and not just in the educational system, but in our culture as a whole. It is a rather short read, and I would encourage everyone to read it. He examines the current philosophy of education in comparison to the past, and if this philosophy is taken to its greatest extent, where that will lead humanity. If I didn't know better, I would have thought he was critiquing the current system in America.

The next 2 books I'm planning on reading are "Miracles" and "The Four Loves". I've already been working on "Miracles" and it is a rather dense read in comparison to many of his other works. So while I slowly tackle that, I'm going to pick up a copy of "The Four Loves".

When I read books, unless it is for school, I hate to write in them. Instead, I mark sections with post it notes. My "Complete C.S. Lewis" book has so many sticking out of it, it's almost hilarious. I'd like to share a few of the marked sections from the previously mentioned books.

The Problem of Pain

The Son of God suffered unto the death, not that men might not suffer, but that their sufferings might be like His. - George MacDonald, Unspoken Sermons, First Series

If the universe is so bad, or even half so bad, how on earth did human beings ever come to attribute it to the activity of a wise and good Creator? Men are fools, perhaps; but hardly so foolish as that.

All men alike stand condemned, not by alien codes of ethics, but by their own, and all men therefore are conscious of guilt.

His Omnipotence means power to do all that is intrinsically possible, not to do the intrinsically impossible. You may attribute miracles to Him, but not nonsense. This is no limit to His power...It is no more possible for God than for the weakest of His creatures to carry out both of two mutually exclusive alternatives; not because His power meets an obstacles, but because nonsense remains nonsense even when we talk it about God.

When Christianity says that God loves man, it means that God loves man: not that He has some 'disinterested', because really indifferent, concern for our welfare, but that, in awful and surprising truth, we are the object of His love. You asked for a loving God: you have one. The great spirit you so lightly invoked, the 'lord of terrible aspect', is present: not a senile benevolence that drowsily wishes you to be happy in your own way, not the cold philanthropy of a conscientious magistrate, nor the care of a host who feels responsible for the comfort of his guests, but the consuming fire Himself, the Love that made the worlds, persistent as the artist's love for his work and despotic as a man's love for a dog, provident and venerable as a father's love for a child, jealous, inexorable, exacting as love between the sexes. How this should be, I do not know: it passes reason to explain why any creatures, not to say creatures such as we, should have a value so prodigious in their Creator's eyes.

The problem of reconciling human suffering with the existence of a God who loves, is only insoluble so long as we attach a trivial meaning to the word 'love', and look on things as if man were the centre of them. Man is not the centre. God does not exist for the sake of man. Man does not exist for his own sake. 'Thou has created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.' We were made no pt primarily that we may love God (though we were made for that too) but that God may love us, that we may become objects in which the Divine love may rest 'well pleased'.

Human love, as Plato teaches us, is the child of Poverty - of a want or lack; it is caused by a real or supposed good in its beloved which the lover needs and desires. But God's love, far from being caused by goodness in the object, causes all the goodness which the object has, loving it first into existence and then it no real, though derivative, lovability.

If He requires us, the requirement is of His own choosing. if the immutable heart can be grieved by the puppets of its own making, it is Divine Omnipotence, no other, that has so subject it, freely, and in a humility that passes understanding. If the world exists not chiefly that we may love God but that God may love us, yet that very fact, on a deeper level, is so for our sakes. If He who in Himself can lack nothing chooses to need us, it is because we need to be needed.

'You must be strong with my strength and blessed with my blessedness, for I have no other to give you'. That is the conclusion of the whole matter. God gives what He has, not what He has not: He gives the happiness that there is, not the happiness that is not. To be God - to be like God and to share His goodness in creaturely repose - to be miserable - these are the only three alternatives. If we will not learn to eat the only food that the universe grows - the only food that any possible universe ever can grow - then we must starve eternally.

If you will here stop and ask yourselves why you are not as pious as the primitive Christians were, your own heart will tell you, that is it neither through ignorance nor inability, but purely because you never thoroughly intended it.'

I think we all sin by needlessly disobeying the apostolic injunction to 'rejoice' as much as by anything else.

As St Augustine says somewhere, 'God wants to give us something, but cannot, because our hands are full - there's nowhere for Him to put it'.

If God were proud He would hardly have us on such terms: but He is not proud, He stoops to conquer, He will have us even though we have shown that we prefer everything else to Him, and come to Him because there is 'nothing better' now to be had.

Human will becomes truly creative and truly our own when it is wholly God's, and this is one of the many senses in which he that loses his soul shall find it.

The sacrifice of Christ is repeated, or re-echoed, among His followers in very varying degrees, from the cruelest martyrdom down to a self-submission of intention whose outward signs have nothing to distinguish them from the ordinary fruits of temperance and 'sweet reasonableness'.

Again, we are afraid that heaven is a bribe, and that if we make it our goal we shall no longer be disinterested.

There have been times when I think we do not desire heaven; but more often I find myself wondering whether, in our heart of hearts, we have ever desired anything else.

Are not all lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling (but faint and uncertain even in the best) of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year by year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for. Listening for? You have never had it. All the things that have ever deeply possessed your soul have been but hints of it - tantalizing glimpses, promises never quite fulfilled, echoes that died away just as they caught your ear. But if it should really become manifest - if there ever came an echo that did not die away but swelled into the sound itself - you would know it. Beyond all possibility of doubt you would say 'Here at last is the thing I was made for'.

The thing you long for summons you away from the self. Even the desire for the thing lives only if you abandon it.

All pains and pleasures we have known on earth are early initiations in the movements of that dance: but the dance itself is strictly incomparable with the sufferings of this present time. As we draw nearer to it uncreated rhythm, pain and pleasure sink almost out of sight. There is joy in the dance, but it foes not exist for the sake of joy. It does not even exist for the sake of food, or of love. It is Love Himself, and Good Himself, and therefore happy. It does not exist for us, but we for it.

The Great Divorce

(Note: This is a work of fiction, and in it Lewis presents many views with which he doesn't agree. These quotes are taken out of context and should not necessarily be used to represent his entire views)

No, there is no escape. There is no heaven with a little of hell in it - no plan to retain this or that of the devil in our hearts or our pockets. Out Satan must go, every hair and feather. - George MacDonald

It's scarcity that enables a society to exist.

'Will you come with me to the mountains? It will hurt at first, until your feet are hardened. Reality is harsh to the feet of shadows. But will you come?'

'But Heaven is not a state of mind. Heaven is reality itself. All this is fully real is Heavenly. For all that can be shaken will be shaken and only the unshakable remains.'

'Everyone who wishes it does. Never fear. There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done." and those to whom god says, in the end, "Thy will be done." All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock it is opened.'

'Ink and catgut and paint were necessary down there, but they are also dangerous stimulants. Every poet and musician and artist, but for Grace, is drawn away from love of the thing he tells, to love of the telling till, down in Deep Hell, they cannot be interested in God at all but only in what they say about Him. For it doesn't stop at being interested in paint, you know. They sink lower - become interested in their own personalities and then in nothing but their own reputations.'

'You cannot love a fellow-creature fully till you love God'

'That's what we all find when we reach this country. We've all been wrong! That's the great joke. There's no need to go on pretending one was right! After that we begin living.'

'But someone must say in general what's been unsaid among you this many a year: that love, as mortals understand the word, isn't enough. Every natural love will rise again and live forever in this country: but none will rise again until it has been buried.'

'I doubt if he knew clearly what he meant. but you and I must be clear. There is but one good; that is God. Everything else is good when it looks to Him and bad when it turns from Him. And the higher and mightier it is in the natural order, the more demoniac it will be if it rebels. It's not out of bad mice or bad fleas you make demons, but out of bad archangels. That false religion of lust is baser than the false religion of mother-love or patriotism or art: but lust is less likely to be made into a religion.'

'The Happy Trinity is her home: nothing can trouble her joy.
She is the bird that evades every net: the wild deer that leaps every pitfall.
Like the mother bird to its chickens or a shield to the arm'd knight: so is the Lord to her mind, in His unchanging lucidity.
Bogies will not scare her in the dark: bullets will not frighten her in the day.
Falsehoods tricked out as truths assail her in vain: she sees through the lie as if it were glass.
The invisible germ will not harm her: nor yet the glittering sun-stroke.
A thousand fail to solve the problem, ten thousand choose the wrong turning: but she passes safely through.
He details immortals gods to attend her: upon every road where she must travel.
They take her hand at hard places: she will not stub her toes in the dark.
She may walk among Lions and rattlesnakes: among dinosaurs and nurseries of lionets.
He fills her brim-full with immensity of life: he leads her to see the world's desire.'


The Abolition of Man


The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles but to irrigate deserts.

'Can you be righteous', asks Traherne, 'unless you be just in rendering to things their due esteem? All things were made to be yours and you were made to prize them according to their value.'

No emotion is, in itself, a judgement; in that sense all emotions and sentiments are alogical. But they can be reasonable or unreasonable as they conform to Reason or fail to conform. The heart never takes the place of the head: but it can, and should, obey it.

In a word, the old was a kind of propagation - men transmitting manhood to men; the new is merely propaganda.

And all the time - such is the tragi-comedy of our situation - we continue to clamour for those very qualities we are rendering impossible. You can hardly open a periodical without coming across the statement that what our civilization needs is more 'drive, or dynamism, or self-sacrifice, or 'creativity'. In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function. We make men without chests and expect of them virture and enterprise. We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.

Telling us to obery Instinct is like telling us to obey 'pe0ople'. People say different things:so do instincts. Our instincts are at war.

What is absurd is to claim that your care for posterity finds its justification in instinct and then flout at every turn the only instinct on which it could be supposed to rest, tearing the child almost from the breast to creche and kindergarten in the interests of progress and the coming race.

The rebellion of new ideologies against the Tao is a rebellion of the branches against the tree: if the rebels could succeed they would find that they had destroyed themselves.

And as regards contraceptives, there is a paradoxical, negative sense in which all possible future generations are the patients or subjects of a power wielded by those already alive. By contraception simply, they are denied existence; by contraception used as a mean of selective breeding, they are, without their concurring voice, made to be what one generation, for its own reasons, may choose to prefer. From this point of view, what we call Man's power over Nature turns out to be a power exercised by some men over other men with Nature as its instrument.

I am not yet considering whether the total result of such ambivalent victories is a good thing or a bad. I am only making clear what Man's conquest of Nature really means and especially that final stage in the conquest, which, perhaps, is not far off. The final stage is come when Man by eugenics, by pre-natal conditioning, and by an education and propaganda based on a perfect applied psychology, has obtained full control over himself. Human nature will be the last part of Nature to surrender to man. The battle will then be won. We shall have 'taken the thread of life out of the hand of Clotho' and be henceforth free to make our species whatever we wish it to be. The battle will indeed be won. But who, precisely, will have won it?

It is not that they are bad men. They are not men at all. Stepping outside the Tao, they have stepped into the void. Nor are their subject necessarily unhappy men. They are not men at all: they are artefacts. Man's final conquest has proved to be the abolition of Man.

Only the Tao provides a common human law of action which can over-arch rulers and ruled alike. A dogmatic belief in objective value is necessary to the very idea of a rule which is not tyranny or an obedience which is not slavery.

Knowing Nothing Of Holy

Just a little food for thought...

The other day I caught the end of some program that was discussing the characteristics of God. The pastor/teacher said that the one characteristic that we'll never be able to fully understand on this side of heaven is God's holiness. While His other characteristics our feeble brains can come up with some pale comparison to use, His holiness we cannot grasp. Yet we are called to be holy, just as He is holy. Then I heard the following song from Addison Road. I'm not sure what else to add, other than this is all just something to think about

I've made you promises a thousand times
I've tried to hear from heaven
But I talk the whole time
I think I made you too small
I've never feared you at all, no
If you touched my face would I know you
Looked into my eyes could I behold you

What do I know of you
Who spoke me into motion
Where have I even stood
But the shore along your ocean
Are you fire, are you fury
Are you sacred, are you beautiful
So what do I know
What do I know of holy

I guess I thought that I had you figured out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How you were mighty to save
But those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who you might be
The slightest hint of you brought me down to my knees

What do I know of you
Who spoke me into motion
Where have I even stood
But the shore along your ocean
Are you fire, are you fury
Are you sacred, are you beautiful
So what do I know
What do I know of holy

What do I know of Holy
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame
And a God who gave life its name
What do I know of Holy
Of the One who the angels praise
All creation knows your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love

What do I know of you
Who spoke me into motion
Where have I even stood
But the shore along your ocean
Are you fire, are you fury
Are you sacred, are you beautiful
So what do I know
What do I know of holy

Paris!

We arrived at our hotel very late that night in Paris. Around 12:30 (or military time, 0030) we were leaving the metro, crossing a very empty parking lot, and finally made it to the "Cheap Beds Hotel". It was actually a really nice, not what you would have expected with that name!

Paris is an incredible city! The thing that amazed me the most was when I would be walking down a street, and I would look up to the horizon and see the Eiffel Tower or Notre Dame. I just never imagined that I would be there someday.

We did some excellent planning the night that we got in, and the credit really goes to the other 3 girls, because I was too tired to really care what we did and what order we did it in! We did make one major mistake - when we were planning out how long we would spend in the Louvre, we said 2.5, maybe 3 hours at the most. I mean, how many things could there be to see there? We discovered just that the next day.

On our first full day, we spent 5 and 1/2 hours in the Louvre! And we didn't manage to get through it all! We made it to almost all the exhibits, but the last section we were almost running through it. But it's the Louvre and you don't want to look too stupid. It was so incredible! You could spend an entire day there! I would love to go back and do just that. Or maybe a couple of days... We also ate lunch in the courtyard, which was pretty cool. We added it to our list of "interesting places we've eaten". I even stuck my feet in the water, though I'm not sure if you're supposed to do that.

After doing that, we walked through the Jardin des Tuileries and the Peace de la Concorde. We also walked over to Notre Dame, only to find it closed for the day :( But we did learn an important fact - if we went the next day at 2PM, we could get a free tour! So we continued walking around Paris, then headed back to make our plans for the next day.

Day two was even more packed than the first day! We first went to the Bastille, which is just a monument, and greatly disappointing. After that we headed to Notre Dame, and we got an almost 2 hours free tour! And it was still going on after we left the group! Our guide was excellent, and gave us so much detailed material. We even got to go up closer to the main altar than the public can go because we were part of a tour! I'll be honest, I really liked it, but it wasn't my favorite cathedral. Afterwards, we went and ate crepes right across the street! It was incredible! And they were quite yummy!

We also visited the house of Victor Hugo. It was filled with a bunch of artwork about his books, and some old copies of them as well. It did have some originally furnished rooms as well. It was really tucked away, so it was extremely cool that we found it.

We visited the Arc de Triomphe, and while we were there they were holding a ceremony in honor of the victims of WWII. The roundabout is crazy!

We walked to the Eiffel Tower, and then walked up it! Yes, those are a LOT of stairs! But it was so neat to be able to say that you walked up it! You can't go all the way up walking, but you can go most of it and then take an elevator. The view was stunning. We had just spent the day walking, and we were able to see just how far we walked. We couldn't believe it!

We went to the Statue of Liberty, and it is a lot smaller than the one in New York. We ate our dinner there, and then headed back towards the Eiffel Tower so we could see it at night. It looks much more pretty then.

All in all, we walked almost 14mi that day!

The next day we gathered up our stuff and met up with Erika and her dad and grandfather to go to Normandy!

I Will Not Be Moved

I Will Not Be Moved - Natalie Grant

I have been a wayward child
I have acted out
I have questioned Sovereignty
And had my share of doubt
And though sometimes my prayers feel like
They're bouncing off the sky
The hand I hold won't let me go
And is the reason why

I will stumble
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the solid rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

Bitterness has plagued my heart
Many times before
My life has been like broken glass
And I have kept the score
Of all my shattered dreams and though it seemed
That i was too far gone
My brokenness helped me to see
It's grace I'm standing on

I will stumble
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the solid rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

All the chaos in my life
Has been a badge of war
And though I have been torn
I will not be moved
I will not be moved
I will not be moved
No

I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the solid rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved
No

I Am A Workaholic

I like to work. Not that I often enjoy doing the labor itself, but I enjoy working. Sure, there are other things I'd rather do, but even in my moments of relaxation, I think of something else I could be doing. I feel guilty when I'm not productive enough. Telling me to "relax" is like telling someone to go from 150 mph to 0 in .5 seconds. Possible? Probably, but it's not going to be pretty.

Until recently, I haven't realized how much of a workaholic I've become. I realized quite a while back that I'd become a caffeine addict, but I never thought that it was a symptom of a larger problem. I have some OCD tendencies, and I like to be a perfectionist whenever I can, and then in high school I was introduced to the concept of IB (International Baccalaureate program). Basically, a very valuable opportunity to earn college credit and develop learning skills....while completely overloading yourself with work. I learned how to live my life packed full with responsibilities and developed a high tolerance for stress. By the end of high school, stress was my life, so I barely took notice of it anymore.

Then I went to college as a Music Ed major. You have to be insane to major in that area, but I decided to be even more insane by taking a 12 credit honors course on TOP of my required music major courses. I threw myself into everything that I was doing, and when that didn't work, I attempted to cut corners and keep everything balanced. Academic courses, music courses, extra curricular activities, friends, family, spiritual life, etc. I drove myself into the ground trying to keep everything together. By the end of second semester I was barely hanging on. But I decided to ignore all of it in focus of my travel plans.

During my time over in Europe, God decided that it was time that I learn to stop. In a series of events, God showed me the fact that I haven't slowed down for 3 years now. For three years I've been pushing myself beyond the limits, never slowing down unless it was completely necessary. And then I wondered why I didn't feel passion at school anymore. I wondered why it took all of me just to give to someone else. I wondered why I felt dead by the end of the year, like I had killed not myself, but my life. It took making me sleep deprived and upset to get my attention, but one wise friend warned me "If you don't take time to listen for His voice, you're forcing Him to just speak louder". He crushed me to the point where I finally had to acknowledge that I did indeed need rest and renewal.

He carried this theme over when I returned home to find that Pastor Gary had decided to make his summer series "God's Stressbusters". Each week He's taking a look at part of Psalm 23 to show how God wants us to treat the stress in our lives. I wish our church's website was working properly so I could post a link to the sermons! Trust me, as soon as I can, I will! This week's sermon hit me especially quite hard. It was entitled "God's Antidote to Busyness". Even more than being a workaholic (since I am also a procrastinator and quite lazy at points), I'm learning that I love to be busy, doing something, anything. And I think that is something with which many of us struggle, and a symptom of the deeper problem of sin. Since I can't post the sermon itself, I'll at least post these notes, and if you want a further discussion from what I can remember, I'd be happy to discuss it.

God's Antidote to Busyness
Psalm 23:2 - "He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters"

[A number of opening remarks dealing with the fact that we need to learn to relax]
Psalm 127:2 (NLT) "It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones."

We need to RELAX:

1. Realize my worth

James 1:18 (NLT) "He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession."

In our society today we place too great a value upon our work. As soon as we find out a person's name, the next thing we ask is "so what do you do?". We measure our own worth from what job we have, how high up in the company we are, how much money we make, etc. Instead, we need to realize the worth that God places upon us.

-You will never understand how much God loves you here on earth.
-There is nothing you can ever do in life that will make God love you more than He already does.
-There is nothing you can ever do that will make God love you any less

2. Enjoy what I already have

Eccl 3:13 (NIV) "That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God."

We live in a rat race. Too often we're spending money we don't have, to get things we don't need, in order to keep up with people we don't even like. And we can't even take it with us after wards! "I've had a conversation about this subject with Jon Carpenter (a member of our congregation who owns a funeral home) He agrees with me - he's never seen a U Haul attached to hearse". At the end of our lives, we won't regret not having a big enough house or a nice enough car - we'll regret not doing the things we loved, with people that we loved, or spending enough time with God.

3. Limit my labor

Mark 2:27 (NIV) "Then he said to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath."

Those of us who are true workaholics know what it's like. You keep going, and going, and going, and going, until finally your body says "ENOUGH!" and forces you to rest...usually by making you so sick that you can't do anything else. We weren't made to be pushing ourselves as much as we do. That's why God made resting one of the 10 Commandments, and every time we don't take that time, we're breaking that commandment. It doesn't need to be on Sunday, but we just have to do it.

-REST my body
-RECHARGE your emotions
-You need to REFOCUS your spirit

4. Adjust my values (priorities)

Eccl 4:4 (NIV) "And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man's envy of his neighbor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind."

Mark 8:36 (NIV) "What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?"

The verse from Ecclesiastes is pretty hard hitting. All this work is springing from envy. Hmm...we need to really take a hard look at our priorities and figure out if our schedule truly reflects what we value.

5. Xchange my pressure for God's peace

Matt 11:28-29 (NIV) ""Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

-PHYSICAL fatigue - tired muscles
-EMOTIONAL fatigue - tired emotions, feelings
-SPIRITUAL fatigue - dry spirit


God's antidote to busyness is an intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, your Shepherd!

7 Tips
-Spend time alone with God everyday, probably BEFORE the craziness of the day starts
-Be sure to take your Sabbath rest every week. Do it religiously.
-Find some activity you enjoy and do it
-Drop things from your schedule
-Add things to your schedule that are God-led
-Say "NO" to everything else
-Pursue God and bask in His presence

Vichy, France

Continuing the stories from the after travels....

On June 2, we left Switzerland and head up towards Paris. On the way to Paris we stopped in a little town called Vichy. The train ride was interesting. We didn't have reserved seats and I ended up sitting with the luggage on an in-between car spot. Right next to the WC. And the door wouldn't stay shut. So every time it slammed back and forth, people kept glaring at me. But it was fun! We did switch things up a bit and finally managed to grab seats as people got off. When we got to Vichy, we were hoping to spend just a couple hours exploring the town, but when we got there we discovered that the next train to Paris didn't leave for several more hours. We had a great adventure attempting to find a place to leave our luggage, since there wasn't any place at the train station. It took us a while, but we found a cafe that would let us leave stuff there for a while, and after that a presbytery. At the presbytery, one of the ladies kept calling us the "Obama girls". Finally, we developed a great plan where Hannah and I would wait in the park with the stuff while Jenny and Courtney went and explored. Then we switched.

When Hannah and I went exploring, we came across a really neat church that was decorated in the "art deco" style. It was super cool. Hannah was able to read me the various names of the saints, and we followed the passion story around the church. There was even a giant picture of Jesus that has something like sequins on it! And for whatever reason, the main alter has the crucifix with a serpent on it.

We also managed to find a beautiful park, one that made me really wish we had such things back home. We also attempted to find the natural mineral springs, but failed in the short amount of time that we had. We did find the main theater and proceeded to drool over the AMAZING program they had listed - orchestral works, jazz, blues, ballet, and a variety of others!

After eating our dinner of sandwiches and oranges in the train stop, we headed out to Paris!

On Prayer

Excerpt from "A Year with C.S. Lewis" - God in Our Prayers

An ordinary simple Christian kneels down to say his prayers. He is trying to get into touch with God. But if he is a Christian he knows that what is prompting him to pray is also God: God, so to speak, inside him. But he also knows that all his real knowledge of God comes through Christ, the Man who was God--that Christ is standing beside him, helping him to pray, praying for him. You see what is happening. God is the thing to which he is praying--the goal he is trying to reach. God is also the thing inside him which is pushing him on--the motive power. God is also the road or bridge along which he is being pushed to that goal. So that the whole threefold life of the three-personal Being is actually going on in that ordinary little bedroom when an ordinary man is saying his prayers. The man is being caught up into the higher kinds of life--what I called Zoe or spiritual life: he is being pulled into God, by God, while still remaining himself. - from Mere Christianity

Our Daily Bread - Open Invitation

Ephesians 2:14-22 (New International Version)

¹⁴For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, ¹⁵by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, ¹⁶and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. ¹⁷He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. ¹⁸For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.

¹⁹Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, ²⁰built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. ²¹In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. ²²And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

Versailles was made the capital of France by King Louis XIV in 1682 and remained the capital (except for a short time) until 1789 when it was moved back to Paris. The beautiful palace of Versailles included an opulent 241-foot-long Hall of Mirrors. When a visitor approached the king, he had to curtsy every five steps as he walked the entire distance to meet the king sitting on his dazzling silver throne!

Foreign emissaries to France submitted to that humiliating ritual to court the French monarch’s favor toward their country. By contrast, our God, the King of kings, invites His people to come to His throne freely. We can come to Him anytime—no advance appointments and no bowing required!

How grateful we should be that our heavenly Father is so much more inviting! “Through [Christ] we . . . have access by one Spirit to the Father” (Eph. 2:18). Because of this, the writer of Hebrews urges us to “come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Heb. 4:16).

Have you responded to God’s open invitation? Come in awe and gratitude, for the God of this universe is willing to hear your petitions anytime. — C. P. Hia

You need to talk with God today,
Your heart’s bowed down with care;
Just speak the words you have to say—
He’ll always hear your prayer. —Hess

Access to God’s throne is always open.

Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. —Hebrews 4:16

Voyage to Switzerland!

Now for the first of my entries about the trip:

Switzerland!

We were let loose to wreck havoc upon Europe on May 31st. That morning a bunch of met together to eat a final breakfast and have a mini church service before a couple of the mini travel groups had to grab the first bus into Venice. It was nice, but odd. In honor of Pentecost we read that section out of Acts. We all said goodbye while waiting for the bus. The first ones that were off were Kyle and Stew who were catching the city bus to go to the hotel they were going to be staying at for the next night. Then 3 different travel groups got onto the shuttle bus to the city to get trains out of there. To our unfortunate surprise, the Pearses (one of our professors and his wife) were also on that bus. My travel group at that point included Carter (Hannah Carter, but we just called her by her last name), Courtney and Jenny. Another one of the groups was also going to Switzerland, but a different section, so they were with us for the first part of the train ride. The train ride, while a little crazy since it was our first time figuring everything out, was nice. Especially as we came into Switzerland. It was such a contrast from Eastern Europe! Everything was clean, green, and nicely put in order. The mountains were spectacular. There's no other way to describe them!

We were staying with a missionary family that Carter knew from Africa. They live in Thun, which is close to a lake (though I'm not sure which one). It's a cute little town, but not too small. We arrived there Sunday night and Mrs. Dolitzsch had vegetarian lasagna prepared for us (the family is vegetarian). It was amazing! And it was our first home cooked meal in weeks! We were in the German speaking part of Switzerland, so the four children all spoke German and no English. But they were still adorable. It was no nice to be in a house again! Having a nice long, warm shower was honestly one of the highlights.

On Monday we set out to explore the sights. Since it was Pentecostal Monday everything was shut down for the holiday. It was so peaceful walking into town and doing a little exploring. We visited the Castle Thun which also had a church that dated from the medieval ages right near it. The view from both of those places was amazing! The church is actually a Reformed church now, and has a magnificent organ. Someone was practicing on it when we walked in, and the acoustics blew me away. We also explored the church museum which had various parts of the church from all the different times it was renovated. From there we walked down to the water and walked to another castle. It was right on the lake and had some magnificent views. We ate our picnic lunch there, then hopped on a bus to visit yet another castle! We stopped outside of a chocolate shop there and bought some Swiss chocolate! While exploring the grounds of the third castle we found a park where we enjoyed acting like little kids again, and a random monument to Winston Churchill, the defender of freedom. The pictures that we were able to take that day were breathtaking. When we arrived back in Thun we wandered around the neighborhood for a while before coming back to ANOTHER home cooked dinner! This time it was some different salads and grilled mozzarella cheese! The next morning we got up early to catch the bus into town and take a train to Vichy, France as a day trip on the way to Paris!

Life in the States

It has been such a whirlwind experience being back! I'm still waiting for a chance to catch my breath, which will hopefully come this afternoon.

Being the crazy girl that I am, the night I returned home, I stayed up giving gifts to my parents. I could have waited until today to do it, since we were doing a combined Mothers Day and Fathers Day celebration, but I simply didn't want to wait that long to show them what I had found for them. I was so excited while I was travelling to find things that I thought would be perfect that I kept telling them in my e-mails "I can't wait to show you what I found!!". I was just so proud of myself that I was able to find meaningful gifts rather than cheesy tourist souvenirs. Later on, I was reflecting on this, and I remembered being a little child and picking little flowers, which turned out to be weeds, and proudly presenting them to my parents as a gift that I had picked all by myself. It was with that same child-like pride and confidence that I was still giving these gifts to my parents. Regardless of the true quality of the gift, I had spent time thinking of them and no matter what anyone else could tell me, I knew that my parents would love them.

Why don't we still go to God that way?

Too often we get stuck in the rut of saying "I'm simply a miserable human being who can't do anything on my own. There is nothing I can bring to God that He doesn't already have.". That's all very true. But that never stopped us as kids. Those flowers were in the backyard that my parents owned. If they really wanted those weeds, they could have picked them themselves. But I never thought about that. I went ahead and brought them anyway. Yes, everything we have is God's. But don't let that cause us to stop bringing it to Him. How much more terrific would life be if we could run into the very presence of God saying "Daddy! Daddy! Look what I have for you!", bringing our gifts, talents, time and our very selves before Him. We can acknowledge that He already gave it, but that shouldn't keep us from running in with any less joy.

But on to other matters...

Saturday I spent the day with my high school marching band. I had breakfast at a local restaurant with them, and specifically with one of my best friends and her mom. I went to their final parade (which was always my favorite one) and saw their terrific show which helped them beat the crosstown rival bands a couple weeks ago (for the first time in 20 some years!). It was so great to see how far they've come compared to last August when I first heard them at band camp and wondered "will they really pull it together?". That evening was my good friend's grad party, and it was so amazing to see so many people I haven't seen - some of them in a year! I got to catch up and start to make plans to spend more time with everyone this week. As I was driving my best friend home, we were discussing what it was like to be home at this time of year after finishing a whole year of college. It's so different because "the old gang" isn't around anymore - everyone is off at summer activities. And so many others we've failed to stay in touch with, simply because of how busy college kept us. There's also a feeling of not quite belonging anymore. As if we're still trying to find our place in our own hometown now that everything has changed without us. It will be an interesting summer for sure!

Then today I went to my home church, which was incredible! It was so nice to see all those familiar faces and to have people welcome me back and tell me how much they were praying for me. I told Pastor Gary that his sermon was the best sermon in English I had heard for several weeks ; ) In reality, it was quite good. He was finishing his 6 month series on the Sermon on the Mount, challenging us to build upon the Rock rather than the shifting sand. Next week he'll be starting a series I'm really looking forward to hearing. It's going to be on Psalm 23 and God's stress busters that are revealed in there. It's his summer series, so I'll actually get to hear all of it!!

And now my family and I are spending Father's Day relaxing around the house. I'm reviewing over my book this for the summer to figure out how I'm going to tackle it. This is how it's shaping up:

The main goal is to read as many of C.S. Lewis's works as possible. I have already read The Chronicles of Narnia, Mere Christianity, The Screwtape Letters, and A Grief Observed. The summer list is shaping up like this:

The Problem of Pain
The Great Divorce
Miracles
The Abolition of Man
(those are the ones I already own)

Till We Have Faces
Surprised by Joy
The Four Loves
The Weight of Glory

...and we'll see how far I make it before I begin to add more than I can swallow.

I'm Back!

Well, yesterday afternoon I flew into the Toronto airport after spending 5 and 1/2 weeks over in Europe! It was such an amazing, incredible experience and it's going to be so hard to write about it to describe it! I saw so much and learned so much in that time, it's hard to believe that it actually happened!

One note - the picture on the blog is of a mountain in Switzerland, in case you were wondering.

I'll be writing several entries on the various parts of the trip as I have time, but I'd like to at least write an overview, in case you're saying to yourself "She went to Europe? How did I not know about this?" (The answer to the second question is: I was very busy and did not properly inform people that I was leaving)

On May 11 I flew out of the Toronto airport with 23 other students, Dr. Pearse and his wife and Dr. Woolsey to spend the Mayterm in the Balkans. It was part of an honors course that I participated in second semester. It was called "East Meets West" or EMW for short. We studied the develop and clash between Eastern and Western civilizations through history, with a special focus on the Balkans where the two cultures often met. It was a 12 credit course and involved reading about 500 pages a week (correct me if I'm wrong) and writing a 5 page paper every other weekend and a final 9-12 page paper (though we now have another final one to write for Mayterm). The 4 areas of study were: History, Theology, Literature, Political Science. Dr. Pearse lectured us on History/Theology and Dr. Woolsey lead our discussions on Literature. We had an overnight flight to Budapest, Hungary and we spent the next 3 weeks of the Mayterm traveling with our professors through the Balkans, visiting the places we studied. The majority of the time we were in Croatia, but we also did a day trip in Montenegro, and spent a few days in Bosnia and Serbia. We ended the trip in Venice, Italy where we spent 2 days before the group divided up. Some (meaning 2) people flew out on May 31 to head home, then other smaller travel groups went off through Europe, with another chunk flying out on June 9, and then the rest of us flew home on June 18. So I have spent a total of 5.5 weeks on a foreign continent!

During the second half of the trip I traveled with four other girls, and it was so much fun! After Venice we went to Thun, Switerzland where we stayed with a missionary family Hannah knew from Africa. We spent a few days with them, then went to Paris, France via Vichy, France. In Paris we stayed at a place called "Cheap Beds Hotel" which was actually REALLY nice. After a few days there we met up with Erika's dad and grandpa and travelled to Normandy and spent a few days with them, going to Stewart's concerts (her younger brother). Our next stop was Haarlem, Netherlands where we spent one night, then it was off to Hamburg, Germany. After two nights there we went to Berlin, Germany. There we stayed with a missionary family that was friends with Erika. From there we went to Nurnberg, Germany and stayed with a girl named Laura who become friends with Erika while she spent the past year in the US as an exchange student. Then instead of heading back to Venice we split the very long train trip into 2 parts and went to Basel, Switzerland for a night (but didn't see the city at all). Then we spent two more nights in Venice before flying out early on the 18th.

Wow. That's a lot of activity in a short period of time.

In the next few entries I'm hoping to write about, well, almost everything! But please comment with questions if you have them!

Reading List

Ah yes. Summer is almost here, so I must post my "Summer Reading List 2009". Instead of the various categories I've done before, I'm going to make this a rather pragmatic reading list. PLEASE leave comments with further reading suggestions!

What I Will Actually Attempt To Read This Summer:

I'm attempting to do a themed summer, with the theme being "C.S. Lewis". My goal is to read as many of his major works that I haven't read already. These are not in any particular order (so if you have suggestions as to which ones to start with, please leave them!)

-The Problem of Pain (I've already begun reading this)
-The Great Divorce
-Till We Have Faces
-The Four Loves
-Miracles
-The Abolition of Man
-Surprised by Joy
-The Space Trilogy


Books That I Have Started Reading and Need To Finish:

-The Great Restoration - Meic Pearse
-Searching for God Knows What - Donald Miller
-The Double - Jose Saramago
-Musicophilia - Oliver Sacks
-The Rest is Noise - Alex Ross
-The Seuss, The Whole Seuss and Nothing But The Seuss - Charles D Coben
-What To Listen for in Music - Aaron Copland
-David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
-Gone with the Wind - Margaret Mitchell
-I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like -Mardy Grothe


The Rest of the List (or, Books That I Still [Shamefully] Need to Read)

Part One: Books That Are Lonely On My Bookshelf
-Julius Caesar - William Shakespeare
-Split Ends - Kristin Billerbeck
-Silas Marner - George Eliot
-Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
-C.S. Lewis - Sam Wellman
-The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and other stories - Robert Louis Stevenson
-Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
-Roots - Alex Haley
-Wives and Daughters - Elizabeth Gaske

Part Two: EMW Leftovers
-The Divine Comedy - Dante
-Confessions - St. Augustine
-The Age of Reason - Meic Pearse

Part Three: Books I Just Need To Read
-Pilgrim's Progress - Bunyan
-Escape from Reason -Francis Schaeffer
-Amusing Ourselves to Death - Neil Postman
-The Jesus I Never Knew - Philip Yancey
-Institutes of the Christian Religion- Calvin
-The Prince -Machiavelli
-The Brothers Karamazov - Dostoevsky
-Faust - Goethe

And Can It Be?

Last night at the 3rd New Bible Study we discussed Christ's death, and the full impact and significance of it. Okay, we didn't manage to full discuss it, but we did touch on a few topics.



One of the biggest questions that we are faced with is "Why did Jesus have to die?" The answer to that question ends up seeming rather obvious after over a decade of Sunday School. Jesus died so that our sins could be forgiven. But somehow I don't feel like that does it justice. In one of my classes we discussed Calvinism recently, and one of the main points of Calvinism is the total depravity of men - we are all so hopelessly wicked and sinful that we cannot possibly even hope of saving ourselves. While I'm not sure exactly what I think about Calvinism or the Reformed movement, it is a rather serious point. And I have been convinced more and more over the past few weeks of how hopeless my state is without Christ. I keep finding myself falling at His feet, begging for mercy. The phrase that keeps coming to mind is "Kyrie eleison, Christe eleison" (Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy).



In his book "Jesus No Equal", Barry St. Clair puts it this way :

"A tremendous gap stands between God and us, between His holiness and our selfishness. If we could see that holiness and absolute purity of God, we would understand how sinful we are and the difficulty involved in bridging the gap. We would understand why it's impossible for us to bridge the gap on our own.

The Old Testament prophet Isaiah saw in a vision a glimpse of God sitting on His throne in heaven. Just a glimpse was all Isaiah needed to realize how single he was. 'Woe to me!' he cried, 'I am ruined!' (Isaiah 6:5)



When Simon Peter realized that Jesus was God's Son, he said almost the same thing: 'Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!' (Luke 5:8)"





We are sinners, without hope of saving ourselves, and we are the ones who Christ died for. But to think that the Son of God would subject Himself to such torture and agony on our behalf - it just blows my mind! I can hardly comprehend it.



Here's what C.S. Lewis has to say about it:



"We believe that the death of Christ is just that point in history at which something absolutely unimaginable from outside shows through into our own world. And if we cannot picture even the atoms of which our own world is built, of course we are not going to be able to picture this. Indeed, if we found that we could fully understand it, that very fact would show it was not what it professes to be--the inconceivable, the uncreated, the thing from beyond nature, striking down into nature like lightning. You may ask what good it will be to us if we do not understand it. But that is easily answered. A man can eat his dinner without understanding exactly how food nourishes him. A man can accept what Christ has done without knowing how it works: indeed, he certainly would not know how it works until he has accepted it." (Mere Christianity)



That is a great comfort to me. As any of my friends will tell you, I can discuss philosophical questions and whatnot - but only up to a certain point. When you reach that point, I say to myself "What is the use of it all? We're not actually going to figure anything out". So the mere fact that I don't have to fully understand Christ's death is a great reminder.



But while we don't have to fully understand it, I think we do need to take time to fully appreciate it. So often when we go through our own trials and sufferings we sit through a church service and listen to the pastor say "Jesus Himself was tempted, He suffered, He lived on this earth, He knows what you are going through" and silently tune him out. We think to ourselves "Jesus was the Son of God! He could put up with all of that stuff because he was God! It was not nearly as hard for Him as it is for me!" Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but I'm sure almost everyone has had those thoughts at one point or another.



To once again borrow an explanation from C.S. Lewis:



"I have heard some people complain that if Jesus was God as well as man, then His sufferings and death lose all value in their eyes, 'because it must have been so easy for Him'. Other may (very rightly) rebuke the in gratitude and ungraciousness of this objection; what staggers me is the misunderstanding it betrays. In one sense,, of course, those who make it are right. They have even understated their own case. The perfect submission, the perfect suffering, the perfect death were not only easier to Jesus because He was God, but were possible only because He was God. But surely that is a very odd reason for not accepting them? The teacher is able to form the letters for the child because the teacher is grown-up and knows how to write. That, of course, makes it easier for the teacher and only because it is easier for him can he help the child. If it rejected him because 'it's easy for grown-ups' and waited to learn writing from another child who could not write itself (and so have no 'unfair' advantage), it would not get on very quickly. If I am drowning in a rapid river, a man who still has one foot on the bank may give me a hand which saves my life. Ought I to shout back (between my gasps) 'Not, it's not fair! You have an advantage! You're keeping one food on the bank'? That advantage--call it 'unfair' if you like--is the only reason why he can be of any use to me. To what will you look for help if you will not to that which is stronger than yourself?" (Mere Christianity)



There is one part of Christ's suffering that never ceases to amaze me. And that is the moment of God-forsakenness.



"What was the struggle, exactly? Fear of pain and death? Of course. Jesus no more relished the prospects than you or I do. But there was more at work as well; a new experience for Jesus that can only be called God-forsakenness. At its core Gethsemane depicts, after all, the story of an unanswered prayer. The cup of suffering was not removed" - Philip Yancey



"The might of the world, the most sophisticated religious system of its time allied with the most powerful political empire, arrays itself against a solitary figure, the only perfect man who has ever lived. Though he is mocked by the power..the Gospels give the strong, ironic sense that he himself is overseeing the whole, long process...Now, as death nears. he calls the shots" - Philip Yancey



"I have marveled at, and sometimes openly questioned, the self-restraint God has shown throughout history, allowing the Genghis Khans, and the Hitlers and the Stalins to have their way. But nothing-nothing-compares to the self-restraint shown that dark Friday in Jerusalem." - Philip Yancey



For me, that moment on the Cross is one of the most powerful moments in the Passion story. Jesus had lived the life of a human, and now, He more fully took on His humanity. After an eternity spent with His Father, always having His presence, He felt the pain of separation that we have suffered under since the Fall. How incredible is that?



.
And can it be that I should gain

An interest in the Savior's blood?

Died He for me, who caused His pain

For me, who Him to death pursued?



Amazing love! How can it be,

That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?


Amazing love! How can it be,T

hat Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?


'Tis mystery all: th'Immortal dies:

Who can explore His strange design?

In vain the firstborn seraph tries

To sound the depths of love divine.



'Tis mercy all! Let earth adore,

Let angel minds inquire no more.


He left His Father's throne above

So free, so infinite His grace

Emptied Himself of all but love,

And bled for Adam's helpless race:



'Tis mercy all, immense and free,

For O my God, it found out me!

Still the small inward voice I hear,

That whispers all my sins forgiven;

Still the atoning blood is near,

That quenched the wrath of hostile Heaven.



I feel the life His wounds impart;

I feel the Savior in my heart.

No condemnation now I read;

Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;

Alive in Him, my living Head,

And clothed in righteousness divine,



Bold I approach th'eternal throne,

And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Refrain