Why Music?

This is a question that all musicians are confronted with at some point in our lives. Why music? Why make this our life? That's one of the questions we've been forced to consider in our MCP class (Music in the Christian Perspective). I used to believe that I knew why I wanted to do music. I thought I had it all figured out, and everything was put together in such a nice plan. But after spending a month here, I've begun to question the "ideal plan" that I had laid out in my mind. One of the biggest elements was my music. Why did I want to do this? There are a variety of reasons to do music:



-"I just love music so much!" A true reason, yet very immature in some respects. Music requires so much more out of you, that if there's only the feeling of love, then it's never going to survive.



-"I seem to have a real talent and I want to become a famous musician!" Becoming famous has never been a real motivating factor for me. Sure, that would be great, but the amount of time and the massive obsession over one's instrument has never appealed to me. Plus, the amount of people that actually become professional musicians is so slim.

-"I want to share my passion with others!" One of the reasons that I used to give. Why else would you want to become a teacher? But once again, if that's the main reason, you're going to get sick and tired of all the practicing because you merely want to teach.



These are just some of the stereotypical reasons, and there are many other reasons why someone would choose music. And if one of them works for you, and it's enough motivation, then that's great. But it just wasn't cutting it for me. There had to be another reason, something that would continue to drive me on, even when I didn't feel like it was worth it. This morning, I think I finally figured out that reason. I've always loved music, but when you get to this point, where rubber meets the road, the real work sets in, that love is hard to remember. And the end goal of becoming a teacher seems so far away. And none of it seems like it is something that is going to last in the end. But today in chapel, I had one of those "Oh Duh!" moments. Music isn't about my life. It's all about God. But not in that really weird religious connotation sense. I believe in the Creator God and that we are all made in His Image. Since we are made in His Image, we are all "mini-creators", though we cannot make anything that hasn't already existed in some form before (unlike God, who speaks and creates). But music is different. We can put together these notes in different combinations that have never been done before. Each time we practice, music happens for just that period of time, and then is lost to us. But it's swept up into all of history. Something as simple as a hymn-song made tears come to my eyes today during Chapel. It had been a hymn that I learned back in elementary school, and I don't remember why at this point, but I do remember the time my Grandma spent helping me learn it, and also teaching me about memorization itself. I hadn't thought about that in a long time, but one simple song brought back a flood of memories. In addition, they used various different songs during the presentation of Houghton's history, including Requiem from Band of Brothers. I, being the geek that I am, recognized these song immediately and became lost in the moment. It's those moments for which music was created. It helps us reach a little closer to heaven. Though we may never reach a place with our music where we become the next Beethoven, Bernstein or Billy Joel, we created something for a moment. And if we create for God, that music is never truly lost.

I'm not going to try to say that I completely understand it, but it does help me. But now when I get too tired and just want to give up because I'm sure I'll never get the etude right, I'll never remember those accidentals, or I can't get the right emotion in the slow movement of a solo, I can take comfort in the fact that it's not really about me, my playing abilities (or lack thereof), but it's about something much bigger, of which I am a part.