His Eye is on the Sparrow

I can be very stubborn.

This is not inherently a bad thing, and I would defend myself by saying that I have "selective stubbornness". I am stubborn when I want to be.

Yesterday I learned an important about stubbornness.

Mondays are generally not a great day for anyone. It's the beginning of the week, everyone wishes that they could sleep in, and when the weather is nice, it just makes things even worse. When I first woke up yesterday, I was tempted to just go back to bed. I was exhausted, and did not have any plans for the day. Instead, I decided to get up and try to do something. Not the wisest decision on my part. I could barely get moving, and when I did finally get set for the day, I walked out of the house...and locked myself out. At that point, I was tired, had a headache, was furious at myself for making such a stupid mistake, and then had to walk to my mom's work to get a key because we don't hide a spare anyplace. This, of course, did not help my mood.

By dinnertime, I still wasn't overly happy. We went out to dinner, and as we were sitting in Friendly's, a bird flew into the window. For those who might not know this about me, I really hate to see animals get hurt or be killed. I can't watch movies with animals in them because I'm too afraid that something will happen to the animals. I still cry when Mufasa dies in "The Lion King". To try to eat dinner while watching a bird struggle to recover from running into the window was asking a lot out of me. And it was not like what you see in videos - he didn't just sit up and fly away. It took the bird about 15 minutes to recover. I'm sure most people would have laughed at it, but I was horrified as I watched it struggle to stand up. But eventually the bird did manage to walk away, just fine.

During the course of dinner, I was talking to my parents about my concerns over my summer job. I'm giving music lessons, and it can be harder to try to get new students, especially when there's a major arts center in town. Finally, my mom asked me if I had talked to God about it.

Oops.

In my stubbornness, I had tried to figure out every possible way of getting new students. I was close to the point of throwing my hands up in the air and giving up. I love to teach, but I was pretty sure this wasn't worth it. But I hadn't bothered to bring it up to God. I don't know exactly why - perhaps I felt I could do it on my own, maybe I took it for granted that He'd help, I'm not sure. For whatever reason, I had avoided going to the best resource I had.

This morning, my mom left me a note before she went to work. She said "I was reminded of the song "His eye is on the sparrow, and He watches over me. Remember the bird yesterday?"

If God cares enough to make sure that birds recover after running into glass, He cares enough to help His children when they've run themselves into a brick wall. Just remember that no matter what you're facing, even if it seems completely insignificant, God does want you to bring it to Him.

All I can think of is VeggieTales: "God made you special and He loves you very much!"